dakotaburns:

theinnkeeperlibrarian:

leepacey:

a restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the servers should “show some skin” so the owner added a potato skin special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the west virginia foundation for rape information services (x)

That’s exactly the appropriate response.

Home state representin’

infiltration:

sometimes i realize there are so many things i won’t remember in 50 years like the way the sky looked this morning and all the dogs i saw today and my mom’s voice and i get so sad i never want to forget

parzival221:

shak1ra:

redevoted:

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

what about a book of all the lies people have told you

Oh how the tables have tabled

Tables have tabled

"One day I’ll wake up and be glad I did"
Something I have to keep reminding myself  (via slayr)

liamdryden:

annemarina:

are straight boys obligated to touch the top of every door frame??

We do it as an act of cleansing for the times our hands accidentally brush against our bros’ hands

"There was something in my bones that told me to love you."
jenn satsune (via ohsatsune)
vzcv:

I like drawing on peoples arms with sharpie and pretending I’m a tattoo artist
57

vzcv:

I like drawing on peoples arms with sharpie and pretending I’m a tattoo artist

MY GRANDPA WANTED TO BE AN ARTIST

honerablerosemary:

BUT HE HAD 7 KIDS AND A WIFE TO FEED SO HE ENDED UP OWNING A GROCERY STORE AFTER SERVING IN WW2

TODAY MY DAD WAS CLEANING THE HOUSE AND FOUND SOME PENCIL DRAWINGS THAT MY GRANDPA DID AND ASKED IF I WANTED TO HAVE THEM AND I

image

CAN WE JUST LOOK AT THIS

image

MY BAD WEBCAM PICTURES DON’T EVEN DO THEM JUSTICE LIKE LOOK AT THESE

image

MY GRANDPA NEVER BECAME A FAMOUS ARTIST

image

BUT I WANT TO MAKE HIM KNOWN

  • Cashier: That'll be $4.03
  • Me: I only have $4...
  • Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents
  • Me: ...........
  • Cashier: ........
  • Me: what are we?
  • obamallamatime:

    Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested